Dorian in the Mind

Dorian makes its way toward Florida's East Coast. Stress grapples the air. I am reminded of the acute feeling of powerlessness. I once heard a Pastor remark that "the world is broken by sin". Let's consider that sin is merely falling short of a chosen ideal; naturally evil trickles down this scale. As he made this statement he went on to say that the natural disasters we face is a result of the collision of sin. Interesting perspective right? Whether we agree or not - Dorian dances on the sea. Dorian moves with impunity and we stand threatened. 

Yes, we will be okay. A metaphor if I may... I have been my own Dorian for many many years insisting there was little I could do. The mind is the most marvelous mechanism. It can assist you in creating the most self-inflicted turmoil one could ever experience or lead you to absolute freedom. In my experience the spiritual and emotional turmoil has to come before emotional sobriety. I move at the speed of pain! Sober of mind, body and spirit is the ultimate goal and lifetime vocation. It requires constant vigilance and awareness. We must dare to lean into the dark and negative side of our nature. We must recognize and acknowledge the Shadow self. Nod to its existence and no longer resist. The same is done with natural disasters, like Dorian. We have succumbed to the ominous nature natural disasters hold. By understanding and accepting our weakness in the face of their power we can find solution and evade to safety; letting them run their course. Facing their destruction, both past and present, we have learned to live a vigilant life aware of threat and become prepared. Years of study and sending instruments straight into the eye of the storm we are now privy to their patterns; how they operate. Thus, when vainglory is set aside and reverence put in its place, we find safety.

The same is true of man. Scripture remarks:

 "Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!" 2 Corinthians 13:5

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?"
 Jeremiah 17:9

"To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:22-24

I love scripture. The goal of From The Grave Clothing, Co. is to help dismantle the intimidation of Scripture/spirituality and evoke that a resurrected life, learning to crucify the dark and negative side of our natures is the most Gangster shit one could ever do! So, if we consider ourselves Dorian (I know it's a corny metaphor, bare with me) what have we learned of ourselves? For me I experience two Dorians. The first was in active addiction, let us say it was a solid CAT 5. Roaring through the lives of others, blotting out the goodness of my heart, its storm surge drowned my will to live; the rain fell heavy and continuously on my life and my loved ones - they watched in horror and helplessness. I'm not sure I will ever be privy to the full measure of the harms I created in CAT 5. If I was... could I handle it? Dorian number two is a bit more insidious - very hard to detect. Lets clock him at a CAT 2. He stays with me and creates his shadow on the Doppler Radar. Now, If I am moving and grooving through a sober life soaking up the responsibilities of a life well lived - which many of us do - it's not uncommon to slight special spiritual vigilance. The threat of Dorian  CAT 5 has been removed! I can breathe! I am a part of life at last! Which is fucking amazing. However, even though we tend to dance in the sunlight of the Spirit, it is my sole vocation to FAN THE FLAME OF THIS NEW EXPERIENCE AND NEW LIFE! Emmet Fox remarks:

 "The price of liberty is eternal vigilance". 

Can ya dig it? My job is awareness of character. Awareness of my thought-life, awareness of my words and awareness of my deeds. For the sum of all three create my life. Cause and effect! So, as the tides of life flow endlessly for better and for worse, am I the Captain of my Soul? Am I floating in indifference? Is my sail set? The wind that drives us home is the same wind that crashes the boat upon the reef. The common denominator is ME. It always has been and it always fucking will be! Man, I could never wrap my head around that! It is tough to shoulder that kind of utter responsibility for your life; it's scary. However, the moment we do.. it's electric.

Dorian is a real threat. It is danger. Yet, so am I. The killer is me. If we have truly been resurrected from a life of self-constructed torture, then any natural disaster pales in comparison to the Dorian of the mind (I say that with respect). The Dorian that holds your neck to the railroad track, the Dorian that holds you under the tide and laughs, the Dorian that takes everything you've ever loved and casts it into the sea...your own personal Dorian. See God isn't in the disaster. God is in the overcoming. The rebuilding. The community joining hands to resurrect the town and each other. Just as we have overcome a slow-suicide we will overcome anything life throws at us; be it from the sea, land or sky.

Scott Russell